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Gaining and Increasing Self Value


Gaining and Increasing Self Value

Did you know that I hired a love coach 13 years ago and paid $10,000? At the time, I couldn’t imagine ever paying that much money for help finding love but it was a demonstration to the Universe that 1. I was worthy to invest that amount and even more in myself, 2. I set myself up to create the energy shift to have someone come into my life willing to invest time, money, resources and love into me and 3. I shifted in a way that significantly increased every area of my life.  What happened after that? I attracted a better paying job at 4X my previous income. I noticed higher value men started to approach me. Better quality friendships came into my life and I attracted my amazing husband whom I've built an empire with and more importantly who I get to share the best of life with. If you want to receive better, start with giving yourself better.  Don’t set a limit that says "I can’t afford this." Instead, consider: "What can I do to make this work? Because I am absolutely worth the investment in myself!” You see, it matters what actions you take to either coincide what you believe or to fundamentally change what you believe. It’s true that absolutely all of us deal with some forms of deep unworthiness, no matter how confident we may be or appear. Let me tell you what it is usually disguised as: avoidance, competitiveness, judgmentalism, micromanaging, narcissism, passive aggression, people pleasing, perfectionism, projections, and the list goes on! We want value in our lives but often don’t take the necessary steps to achieve and maintain that goal. We can’t stand the idea of not being important enough, of not mattering. We even go to great lengths to try to avoid or distract ourselves, and fight our unworthiness- to somehow prove it’s not there. Our perceived lack of value impacts the connections we have and create with other people who eventually (if not immediately) come to share that same belief. We attract the energy we ourselves put out, doing the same to others as well as ourselves. I’ll give you an example- when we are disrespected and taken for granted, we feel unimportant and unworthy. Meanwhile, the reason the person is disrespecting us and taking us for granted is they are projecting their own lack of value onto us. Why? Because they don’t want to feel unimportant. Another example is when we don’t establish firm boundaries. When we allow others to mistreat us and use us, we teach them it’s okay. We teach them our exact self-worth.  How can we stop this vicious cycle in order to create value? To attract it and keep it easily and increasingly flowing into our lives?  First, we must acknowledge past experiences and hurts are often the root cause of our false belief systems that threaten to keep our self value low.  These beliefs, sometimes passed down from parents or caregivers (or the lack thereof), led us to grow up thinking we were unimportant and unworthy. Our memories paint a picture to validate this false narrative. However, and this is also important to acknowledge, the truth is we have infinite value and can easily connect with others who hold that same knowledge of themselves and eventually (if not immediately) believe that of us (you).    We are actually pure love in human form created by the author of Love, the essence of Love and in the image of Love. So, we must begin to act from that purity within, that gift within, which was placed there for us to have unlimited access. To shift from the dynamic of unworthiness, we must allow our best and highest self, which is Love, to take command. When we recognize the Divine within us and surrender those old limiting beliefs of “I’m not pretty enough,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not worthy enough” (which comes from “I am not enough”) the healing process begins. There’s an instantaneous switch to your self-worth and self value that catapults you to a higher power within. You begin to feel limitless.  You truly begin to feel your value. That shift will change your posture, your decisions, your reactions, your relationships and even the view of your past. You will be able to see your former, less in-tune  self with compassion and grace. You will easily forgive that younger version of yourself who didn’t know better based on the information you had at the time. You will meet that younger self and let her know she is not alone and that you are here to make amends and make her future brighter, stronger, braver, and so full of all of the love she craved but didn’t believe she deserved. Soon, you will begin to trust your new intuitions and no longer attract the same type of men or friendships or work experiences you are used to. Once you believe you deserve the best, the Universe will provide you with the best.  Massive action is what is required to correct and redirect our course away from the place of unworthiness and into our unlimited value. That action is a leap of faith. It is jumping off of a cliff and trusting that you will soar. Sometimes it’s eyes wide open and a terrifying and exhilarating scream of accomplishment as you exclaim to yourself, “I did it!” and “I’m doing it!”  Other times, it’s eyes squeezed tightly closed, afraid to look and expecting a crash, only to realize you are flying higher than you could have ever dreamed. We must be willing to shift how we see ourselves so that we can learn to heal ourselves. We must do whatever it takes to move away from the fear-based scarcity mentality of “I don’t have enough to invest in my healing.” We cannot heal the issue of unworthiness from within using the same broke mentality that created our issue to begin with. When we say, “I don’t have enough to invest in my healing,” what we are really communicating is “I am not important enough to invest in my healing.” When we are not willing to invest in ourselves, we cannot expect others to invest in us. When we don’t love ourselves enough to invest in ourselves, we cannot expect others to love us. Every time we see an opportunity and ignore it for a later time (that never comes, by the way), we decrease our value. But when we realize the power that is within us recognizes another person’s value and power within them and that they hold the keys to our wellness, our health, our future, our great leap awaits. Our faith awaits. And when we take that leap, put a lot more faith in ourselves, we instantaneously position ourselves to receive and create value. We foster an incredible value cycle that never stops giving us a return.  It’s quite simple. Call it an energy exchange. Money for healing. The same way you use money for every other transaction that is important and vital for you. Money for a roof over your head. Money for groceries to put into the refrigerator. There’s no difference with your healing. If you expect or desire a significant transformation to occur, then the energy exchange must be significant as well. This is how we create that beautiful value cycle I mentioned earlier. The one that keeps on giving back to you. We cannot take shortcuts to achieving this value by trying to get a quick fix for healing using discount prices and bare minimum commitments. When we choose not to invest in ourselves due to that familiar place of scarcity and unworthiness, we set ourselves up for continual heartbreaks and magnified issues that require even more healing, even longer recovery times. The bottom line is your health and your happiness are vital. You could have everything, but lack those two things- your health and happiness, and you will not enjoy your life, and you will continue in your pain and suffering and you will complete the old adage, misery loves company. You will continue to attract pain and suffering in all areas of your life. Love, the most important thing, will be missing too. You are important. You matter. Today. Not six months from now. Not in two years or ten. Your health and your happiness and your desire for healing is why you came here. Love is your purpose. It is a Sovereign gift that was always meant for you to experience. You must take inspired action if you expect to turn your life around.  You have to be willing to love yourself if you expect to transform your life and move into the healthiest and happiest version of yourself, attracting a soul partner who is also healed and healthy and ready to love and be loved.  I’ve heard every excuse under the sun and for years, it hurt me deeply when people would say “when I have enough saved up I’ll think about investing in myself.” They offered empty promises to me, but worse, to themselves about investing in themselves “tomorrow.” What I knew then that they learned later, is that “tomorrow” never came. Which meant healing never came. Access to limitless love and increased self value never came.  You see, you have to want to be healed and to value yourself enough to invest your time, money and energy if you expect to have success in your healing journey.  While some seek approval of a friend or parent or advisor before investing in themselves. tightly clutching to their co-dependency, unworthiness and devaluing cycles, others push past the nervous self-doubting person on the clifftop.  They dive into the abundance that was always meant for them. They choose themselves, no longer placing their self-worth in the hands of others who cannot offer them the healing they seek.  You make decisions every day. Big and small. Some big decisions lead to smaller ones and sometimes small decisions lead to large ones. You can look at this the same. But either way, it is a simple decision. It is a yes or a no. Yes, I will invest in myself. Yes, I will invest in my future. Yes, I will invest in the woman I lam today so that I can become the woman I’ve longed to be. Yes, I will choose myself. Yes, I will value myself. Yes, I will take a great leap with my eyes either wide open or squeezed shut but leaping all the same. Yes, I will expect great things because I’m investing greatly in me. Or you might say no. No, I want to continue in what I know, doing what I’ve always done. No, I have become comfortable being alone. No, I don’t want to heal, I’m not ready to heal. No, I don’t think I’m worthy of happiness or true love. No, I’ll wait for tomorrow but secretly know tomorrow will never come.  What will it be?  Will you say yes to yourself? Yes to your success? Yes to your increase? Yes to your healing? Yes to your future healed and whole self? Yes to your soul partner? Yes to the Sovereign Creator who planted eternity on your heart? Yes to the Universe conspiring to bring everything you desire to your doorstep? I hope you will choose yourself and choose to access your unlimited worthiness and power.  D.I.V.A., you are absolutely worth it!  Say it with me! Yes, I am a D.I.V.A., a Divine, Intelligent, Vivacious, Alluring woman designed to love and be loved. I am worth it! Love, Shay “Your Love Diva” Levister

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Shay Better Coaching

4X Circle of Excellence Award Winner

2X Impact Award Winner 

Master Certified Dating & Relationship Coach 

Master Certified NLP Practitioner

Certified Rapid Transformation Therapy 

Shay Better Coaching

"Do Better. Love Better. Shay Better."

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