How to get the guy in the modern ADHD world
November 9, 2019 | Blogging | By admin
We live in the modern ADHD world where everyone is constantly checking their emails, Instagram, Facebook, and so on. A pop song is shorter than 5 minutes and the most popular videos on social media platforms are shorter than 20 seconds. When people’s attention span is so short, finding true love is getting harder and harder due to lack of patience. That being said, fortunately, there are several ways to get the guy that you are attracted to even in this fast-paced world. • Allow your external confidence to boost your internal confidence. Many years ago, there was a popular TV show called Plane Jane which is best characterized by helping women to change their fashion, hair and makeup, thereby getting hot guys. Some people may argue that such a TV show is very superficial, but in actuality, Plane Jane has a very good point because your external confidence can directly influence your internal confidence. Please let me explain. Have you noticed that when you wear a beautiful lip color, you tend to smile more? When you wear an elegant nail color, your gestures become more feminine? Clearly, good makeup not only makes you look better, but also makes you feel better. Thought leader Abraham Hicks claims that Law of Attraction is all about feeling positive emotions before good things happen to you! Similarly, when you dress well, you instantly feel more confident. The way you walk, the way you talk and the way you carry yourself are all influenced by your external confidence. This confidence attracts male attention immediately because men are very visual – when they notice an attractive woman who looks more gorgeous and more confident than some generic photos on Instagram, they will pay attention to you. According to fashion journalist Louise Roe, when women wear red, they are more likely to be approached by men. Therefore, you would be well-advised to wear something red today, no matter it’s a red dress or a red scarf 😊 Interestingly, American author Ginie Sayles agrees with her. Ginie Sayles even points out that a woman should have an outfit that is entirely red, i.e. a red dress, a red bag and a pair of red shoes! Gradually, your internal confidence will be boosted because of your external confidence. That’s a true DIVA. • Become an outstanding conversationalist. Once you’ve got a guy’s attention, it’s time to attract him so that he will want to be with you. (More tips are available from The Science of Attracting Love by Shay Levister.) The key to attract a man and keep his attention is to be an outstanding conversationalist. Now let me show you how to get the guy! Instead of playing conversation tennis, you should play conversation basketball. Let’s have a look at these two scenarios: Scenario 1: YOU: “What do you do?” HIM: “I’m a writer.” YOU: “Cool. I’m a teacher.” Scenario 2: YOU: “What do you do?” HIM: “I’m a writer.” YOU: “Cool. That is a very interesting profession. I guess writing must be a kind of meditation which is joyful and satisfying, right?” Now you’ve got the gist. In Scenario 1, you and the guy are playing conversation tennis, i.e. both of you expect the other person to give more information/more value. By contrast, in Scenario 2, you are playing conversation basketball, i.e. based on the information that he has given you, you bring much more value to the table. More importantly, your comment is about his motivation and emotions regarding his work, which is very paramount when it comes to building a strong emotional connection with a guy, thereby getting the guy. As the conversation goes on, you’d better ask him deeper questions. By that I mean whenever you actually ask him a question, make sure it’s a deeper question if you can. Remember: always using more statements and fewer questions so that you look more certain and more confident & when you ask him a question, it should be a deeper question. Example: HIM: “Yes, I like writing. It’s not really a job. It’s a vocation.” YOU: “Awesome. Do you think writing is a kind of art or just a type of business?” Now you’ve asked him a much deeper question which will show you his worldview – you will know how he looks at art and how he looks at business based on his answer to your question. In this case, talking to you is more stimulating and more engaging than browsing Instagram photos on his phone, so this is exactly how to get the guy in this modern ADHD world. • End the date at its peak and get the guy. Let’s say you go out with a guy for the first date. I’d like to encourage you to end the date at its peak moment, meaning you should end it when the highlight rocks up! Here is why: If you make the first date too long, it will get boring. But if you end it when it’s very exciting, the guy will want to have a second date with you. That’s almost guaranteed! For instance, you and the guy are talking about good writing as well as which books you like while sitting in a coffee shop. You can say, “Let’s go to the bookstore over there and check out some marvelous books on the market!” Then you go to the bookstore with him (this adds some flavor to the date instantly because spending two hours in a coffee shop looks pretty boring). As you and the guy are in the bookstore, you talk about some great books on the shelf for 5-10 minutes, and then you say, “Oh, this is fantastic. Now I have to go. Nice meeting you today.” Whenever he sees that bookstore, he will think of you immediately. Better still, reading is his passion as well, so he will want to see you again. That’s exactly why he will ask you out again – he has positive associations with talking to you because you connect with him at an emotional level (remember motivation and emotions). Usually, the ideal length of a first date should be 30-45 minutes because: 1) if it’s good, you should end it at its peak so that he will want to see you again; 2) if it’s not good, you can leave quickly 😊 By the way, don’t be afraid to give him a hug at the end of the first date – you also need to show your interest in him, thereby encouraging him to chase you! Please note that men need women’s encouragement and appreciation, so it’s your responsibility to show your appreciation in this relationship. This is especially important in the modern ADHD world where most people can’t pause to appreciate the beauty and the magic that life has to offer. For more powerful ideas like this, please check out Shay Levister’s Single Women: Attract the Mate in which certified love coach Shay Levister teaches you exactly how to get the guy and find the love you desire & deserve. Since 2007, certified dating coach Shay Levister has been helping single professional women to find true love by design, not by default.